No no no no no no NO

I'm practicing my answers to the following questions:


"We'd love to have someone with your experience on this search committee."

"Can you be here at 7 AM in time to catch the bus to the state capitol for a day of meetings with our Representatives?"

"Wow, that chest cough sounds awful. Could you help me rearrange the furniture in here? This futon is too heavy for me to lift."

"I'm working late 3 nights this week. Oh, and could you go grocery shopping? We're out of those granola bars I like."

"Will you make me a suit of armor out of this cardboard box?"

"After we write letters to all the members of City Council, we can call their offices to set up individual meetings."

"Can't you cancel your vacation, because I was planning to visit you that week. With ALL of my children."

"Can you drive me to Washington, DC?"

"Could you please spend seven hours volunteering at the school next Thursday? It will be mostly heavy cleaning."

"Could you find out if his adult children knew he was planning to leave me?"

"Can you come to my wedding in the Midwest?"

"Even though the last two hours are the only part that's relevant to your work, we really think you should be present for the entire conference."

"Can I have all your jewelry, Mom?"

"We'd love to come over for dinner. I don't eat gluten, and she doesn't eat cooked food."

"The discussion on this national listserv is getting nasty. People are attacking each other so viciously. We really need you to join the discussion and represent our views."



Please, somebody, stop me before I volunteer again.


PS. These are all ACTUAL REQUESTS that I have received from my friends, family, and coworkers in the past couple of weeks.

Forgive the long silence

...while I try to keep up all the balls in the air.

Did you know...we're watching you?

I was doing a bit of research online for a friend this week, and I emailed a real estate listing to myself.

Within a couple of days, I got a helpful email from the listing agent, offering to help me find the house of my dreams.

Below her email was the message she'd received from her electronic system notifying her that I'd been looking at one of her listings.

Here's the message from the electronic system to the agent:


"Did You Know...
You are able to view this visitor's website activities by accessing the Manage Prospects section of your Online Office.

As prospects visit your website for listing information and industry-related content or access the resources provided such as mortgage calculators, [our system] automatically tracks your prospects and organizes them to easily enable you to develop your own leads.

Everything your visitors do on your website is tracked, and, as a result, you'll know exactly what your prospects are looking for before you follow up with a phone call or email. You will gain their confidence with your organizational skills and ability to understand their needs!"


Why am I surprised? Even if Big Brother Government is too busy to watch us all the time, somebody else is probably watching us looking for a chance to sell us something.

Possible jump in income: Thinking aloud

My editor friend called me this week and asked me if I'd be interested in writing a weekly column on a really cool topic for about a year. The pay is...definitely worth my while. She asked me to write 3 sample articles in the next few weeks, and if she likes them and her boss likes them, I can have the job.

But I already work around 20 hours a week, plus volunteer work. My partner works full time. Our son spends only 24 hours a week at school, and he spends another 5 hours a week being babysat by friends and family. As it is, I do a lot of my work in the evenings and on weekends. The summer is even worse. He's at camp less than 15 hours a week, and there are a couple of weeks at either end of the summer with (gulp) no camp and no school.

But what writer would say no to writing a weekly column for a world-famous publication on a topic that she really likes?

And of course, I can think of a few ways I'd like to spend the money. Always one to count my chickens before they hatch, I've been enjoying daydreaming about what I'd do with all that cash. I don't want to give you an exact figure yet, but it would mean our household income would go up more than 50%.

I could:

Save more for retirement, of course. I'd have to decide if a Roth IRA is still the best bet for me, or if I should open a SEP-IRA. But I'd dearly love to max my spouse's Roth for the first time. If he also continues to contribute 15% to his workplace plan, that would put us way ahead of my goal for the year of adding $10,000 to his retirement accounts.

Fix that hole in the floor, and other household problems. My old house really needs some work. I had been planning to spend about $3000 on the house this year anyway. Perhaps this increase in income would make me comfortable spending as much as $5000 instead. That would probably be enough to fix the broken floor and maybe also do one other minor project on our first floor.

Hire someone to clean my filthy house every other week. I really don't like to clean, and it shows. Working more, and earning more money, would justify having someone else run the vacuum cleaner now and again.

Send my son to the camp we love that is only 15 hours a week for most of the summer, but also spring for a couple of weeks at another, more expensive camp that will keep him for longer hours and give me more time to work.

Save money so my spouse can eventually reduce his work hours. Don't tell him, but I'd really prefer that he reduce his work hours NOW. That would make it much easier for me to take on this new project. I know he wants to go back to working part time eventually (he worked part time for about a year when our son was a toddler), but he wants to keep his full-time job for at least another year. So I want to have a big nest egg a year from now. That way, I can keep freelancing and working my other part-time job, and my spouse can work part-time and do a lot more of the work involved in caring for our son.

There are some catches, of course. I will be paying exponentially more taxes. Currently my taxes are very low because my income is low, and I have a lot of deductions. My freelance income was less than $5000 in 2007. This year my freelance income will be much higher. I'm currently stashing 30% of my freelance income in a savings account earmarked for taxes, but I haven't had to file quarterly. If I do this new project, I'll probably need to start filing quarterly, and I think many of my current deductions (I usually take the EIC, for example) will phase out. I think I'll start out saving 40% for taxes until I get a feel for how much I'll owe. If I save too much, well, there are worse things.

And the new gig would only last for a year. It's pretty likely that I'll be able to get other work from the same source or from someone else when that year is up, but it is contract work and therefore not as reliable as other jobs. That's why I'm trying to use the money either to boost our savings or to do one-time work on our house, but not to greatly increase our standard of living. The only regular expense I'd be adding is the house cleaner, who could of course be let go if my income drops back to its current level.

As you can see, I'm trying to neatly dispose of most of the income in a responsible way BEFORE it's burning a hole in my bank account. My hope is that I can do this job for year without significantly changing the way we spend money. Right now, we don't really need this money because we're used to living without it. And if all goes well and my partner reduces his work hours a year from now, our income will drop back quite a lot, so I want to be prepared for that.

This post is rather disorganized, but I'm just thinking aloud here, trying to think about what this new gig will mean for us.

As always, comments are welcome....

Who are you calling miserable?

Philadelphia was ranked the 5th most miserable city, according to Forbes.com.

I thought it was pretty silly when Philadelphians got all into a snit last year when somebody or other (anybody remember this?) voted Philadelphians the ugliest city residents. I guess I figure the surveyors must have happened to run into the less attractive locals on the day they visited. I must have been out of town.

But I confess, I resent being told I'm miserable.

I'm not miserable. I'm f***ing ecstatic.

Philadelphia housing slump hits city budget hard

Drop in housing sales means city's losing tax $

The city of Philadelphia's budget is counting on $205 million in real estate transfer taxes this year, and now that the real estate market is well into a long slide, it's looking like that figure was wildy optimistic.

I've been thinking again about buying a rental property, not because I want to do my part for the city coffers, but because it seems like I could have my pick of houses.

However, I keep coming back to the same very real obstacle. My partern does NOT want to be a landlord. Most of our money is combined. I do have some money of my own, but not really enough to do this comfortably. I could probably come up with about $12,000 of my own money, but I don't think that's enough for a down payment in these tighter credit times, plus closing costs, plus a healthy cushion in case the place doesn't rent right away or in case it needs repairs. I figure I need at least $30,000 to comfortably buy and start a rental. If I didn't have that much, I'd lose sleep for the first couple years and it would be pretty bad if something went wrong. Then I'd have to go to my partner with my tail between my legs and use our joint resources to bail me out. Not something I want to do.

So, the city will just have to muddle through without the transfer taxes I'd pay if I bought a house this year.

Super Tuesday for four-year-olds

This morning, I was listening to the coverage of the democratic primary on NPR and making a quesadilla for my son's nursery school lunch.

After a while I became aware of a little voice behind me singing, "Rock Obama, Rock Obama, Rock Obaaaaama."

Me: Are you singing about Barack Obama, L?

L (eating applesauce mixed with fiber powder): Yes.

Me: Do you know who that is?

L: No.

Me: Barack Obama is one of the people running for President.

L: What's a president?

Me: The president is the leader of the government in our country. [pause, while I decide whether to tell him the part that will really catch his interest.] And the president is the commander-in-chief of the armed forces.

L (applesauce forgotten, staring at me raptly): The commander of all the foot soldiers?

Me: Yes, but also ALL the military in our country.

L: And he has a bomb in his name. Rock Obama. Rock Obama. See?
Rock-o Bomb-a.

Is the negative savings rate turning around?

Today's article in the New York Times, Economy Fitful, Americans Start to Pay as They Go, asks whether current economic woes could scare overspenders into living within their means.

I really don't know the answer, but my guess is that it will take more than a bit of an economic downturn to make the tide flow in the other direction.

I also saw an interesting ad in a subway this morning:
Philadelphia Saves. You can build wealth.

This local incarnation of the America Saves program is geared toward educating people about saving money. It seems like an interesting program. Does anybody know someone who has used it?

One solution to over-volunteering

My favorite way to cope with the ridiculous amount of volunteer commitments I have is to do my volunteer work at the same time I'm doing my paid work.

How is this ethical or possible, you ask?

If you've ever staffed a college library in the evening, you'll know that your main purpose is to keep the lights on so students can use the photocopier, the computers, and the study tables. I've been at work for four hours and I've answered 3 questions. Two of them were "where's the photocopier?"

So, I spent my time preparing a report for a board meeting I have to attend this week. Now I won't have to do that at home, on my own time.

Next, I'm going to do some unpaid work that is even less fun than preparing board reports. I need to input figures on the spreadsheet where I record all my freelance income and expenses. I finally have all my 2007 tax forms and I'm determined not to leave it til the last minute this year.

How to weather a medical emergency, Part 3

If you're in the middle of a medical crisis, it may be tempting to spend money to make yourself feel better. Chances are you feel like crap. Maybe you're scared or depressed. Maybe it feels like your life will never be the same again.

You deserve a treat. It's very easy to give yourself permission to overspend when things are not going well. Why not? you tell yourself. Life is too short.

So you need to find a way to do something to make yourself feel better that won't deplete your resources too much.

Accept gifts gracefully. If someone wants to help, LET THEM. When I was sick, it seemed like every day something wonderful came through my door. People brought meals. My sister showed up in my hospital room and gave me a pedicure. Someone loaned me a big stack of DVDs to watch while I recovered. Someone bought me new flannel sheets in warm colors. Someone gave me a gift certificate to get a massage. A friend loaned me a stack of poetry books and novels, and an activity book with cool things to do with my son. I got an amaryllis bulb that I watched bloom over several weeks. All these things made me feel pampered without my having to spend a dime, and most of them didn't cost the giver very much either.

Do things, don't buy things. In my normal life, I always wish I had more time. I never have enough time to get everything done, let alone time to do nothing. So while I was sick, I made myself take time to NOT get anything done. I lay on the couch and watched the first 3 seasons of The Office. (Yay, Scranton, PA!) I did tiny errands on foot just so I could take extra long walks. I went to the library by myself and took as long as I wanted to choose books and movies. I took long baths. I did my version of winter gardening--tending my houseplants. I talked on the phone to my sister for two hours if I felt like it.

Think before you buy. Over a year ago, I saw a ring in a local jewlery store that I wanted in the worst way. I never did buy it, but I've been thinking about it all this time. I went back there recently, and they still have the ring. Since I've been thinking about it for over a year, I think we can safely say that this is no impulse buy. I have been managing not to treat my anxiety about the medical situation with my credit card, so I'm going to buy myself this ring. After all, life IS too short.

Know when to return to normal. When you're in crisis mode, sometimes it really is necessary to spend more. You buy more convenience foods. You're paying whatever it costs to park in the hospital parking lot. You're paying for more childcare. You just had surgery, so you keep the thermostat up a lot higher than usual. But one day, you look around and realize that the crisis is over. Even if life really will never be the same, at a certain point you have to figure out how you can afford your life as it is now. This is the new normal. Is it within your means?

How to weather a medical emergency, Part 1
How to weather a medical emergency, Part 2

What's a trouple, and what's different about how they handle money?

A trouple is like a couple, except that there are 3 partners instead of 2.

As for how they handle money--every family handles it differently, of course, but Queercents recently published an interesting account of a trouple in the midwest who is trying to pay down debt, save for retirement, and manage the complexities of legal marriage and illegal marriage.

My own finances seem simple in comparison. My partner and I may not be married, but it's a no-brainer that I should name him as the beneficiary of my life insurance policy. We own our house together. We're both the legal parents of our son.

But the trouple profiled on Queercents seems to have a good game plan. I plan to follow the story on CJ's blog.

Cell phone charges

This week I got hit with an unexpected medical expense. It's a medical expense because I incurred it while I was in the hospital, but I didn't know about it til this week, nearly 3 months after the event.

We've been on a Cingular family plan for several years. We have 500 "anytime" minutes every month, and because we hardly ever use them all, we also have a rollover plan. That means we can save up unused minutes.

After all this time, I've pretty much stopped checking my minutes balance, because we've never ever gone over. So I was shocked to see a cell phone bill that was $40 more than usual.

After using some very colorful language, I called customer service and asked them to tell me what my average usage is. It turns out that I used 1200 minutes during the month that I was sick in the fall and I burned through my rollover minutes. This month, when I went over my 500 minute limit, I ended up having to pay big bucks because there were no rollover minutes left. Usually, though, I average under 500 minutes.

It turns out I can get a plan with 700 minutes for only $10 more per month. But since I have been fine with 500 minutes all this time, I didn't really want to commit to a more expensive plan.

Here's what I did.

First, I convinced the customer service guy to sell me the 700 minute plan retroactively. It didn't take much convincing. I just asked, and he said yes right away. I suspect they're allowed to do it if asked but not allowed to suggest it. So that means the $40 extra I paid this month will be divided up. $10 will pay for the 700 minute plan for a month, and $30 will be a credit on my bill.

Next, I made sure I can get out of the 700 minute plan and drop back down to 500 minutes whenever I want.

I'll use the 700 minute plan for a couple of months, build back up a cushion of rollover minutes, then go back to 500 minutes a month.

And I'll put a note in my calendar to check my minutes once a month or so, just to make sure this doesn't happen again.

I also checked again what the cheapest text messaging package is. It costs $5 per month. Because I only use 5 or 10 text messages per month, it seems better to keep paying fifteen cents apiece.

I hate it when my own idiocy costs me money. Luckily I wriggled out of this one, but I owe late charges at the library AGAIN. At least I haven't gotten any parking tickets yet this year.

Parents and unpaid labor

What is it about being parents that makes us think it's normal to do hours and hours of volunteer work every week?

Maybe it's all that elbow grease that goes into keeping our offspring clean, fed, safe, and loved. It's arguably the hardest job we've ever done, and we do it without getting paid. When you spend most of your time on parenting, it seems easy to do other unpaid work.

Yeah, that explains it.

But I hope this is a passing phase, because I'm wearing myself out with all this volunteering. At least I don't belong to a church. That would mean even more volunteer work. Just being part of one preschool, one neighborhood group, and one political organization means I spend a big chunk of every work day (and I work from home, so I tend to work 7 days a week) on unpaid projects. Emails, phone calls, mucking around with spreadsheets. It never ends.

Today I added selling popcorn and juice boxes at a school event.

I'm bushed.

Net worth report for January 2008

I had to look.

It's not all that bad, actually. My net worth is down 2.06% this month, or about $5000, for a total net worth of $236,842.

We were hurt by the bucking bronco that is the stock market, but also by the fact that I was just getting back to work and so my regular retirement account contributions weren't coming into my retirement account. Also, my partner has been working part time. He goes back to full time next week, so next month we should see some more steady money coming into our retirement accounts.

Credit card balances are up, and although we pay them off every month, I'm not too pleased about how much I've been spending. I've got to get it back under control.

Local family: The financial ramifications

After over a year of planning and talking about it, my mother and her partner moved to Philadelphia this morning and they're living in my very neighborhood, a half a block from my house. Their red-eye flight got in, and they left their traumatized cat in the car for five minutes so they could run into our house and give us some quick hugs on their way from the airport to their new home.

I've been thinking about the ways their presence will change my life. And of course, some of those things are financial. Here's a list of the ways I've thought of so far that will have an impact on my budget.

Less money spent on travel. Because they've been living so very far away, it costs about $3000 just for plane fare when we go to visit them. When we go, we stay with them and share their car, so it's still a reasonable vacation, but still. I'll be glad to save that money we usually spend on plane tickets every couple of years.

Less money spent on postage. Now I won't have to mail their Xmas, birthday, and Mother's Day gifts.

More money spent on gifts. I tend to buy more gifts for people when I'm going to be spending holidays with them. And it's easier to buy for relatives who are local. If you spend time in their home and see what they wear every day, you're more likely to know what they would like or what they need. I probably won't just make my usual donation to Madre in their name now that they're here. On the other hand, it might be easier to do free things for their gifts, like cook a nice meal for them or do a house project for them.

Less money spent on childcare. I'm putting this one in because I'm sure I'm not the only parent who sees the grandparents as the ideal babysitters. But in our case, I don't actually expect to save money on childcare. I know my parents want to spend a lot of time with my son, but I expect that will not replace the childcare I already pay for. I do think, though, that my career will be a little stronger if I have a willing grandparent on the other end of the line for those days when the kid is sick and there's a meeting at work I really shouldn't miss.

More money spent on entertainment. We don't go to movies much. We only see one or two plays a year. We hardly ever go to concerts. But my parents are artists and their friends are always having this or that opening. They just arrived today, and already they've invited us to go to a play next week. We probably wouldn't have heard about this play at all if they hadn't told us about it, but now that I've read the reviews I really want to go. Guess I'd better see if I have the money for the tickets, and start looking for a babysitter.

Less money spent on restaurants. I'm imagining that once a week or so we'll get together with them for dinner. Sometimes we'll cook and eat at our house. Sometimes we'll go there. But it means that once in a while when I don't feel like cooking, I can go have some of my mom's good cooking, instead of going to the local diner like I would right now. Cheaper, and healthier too.