Family-friendly workplaces

What makes a workplace family-friendly? This is something most people don't consider until they have kids.

Here are some of the things I see as most important to workers with young children.

Benefits. This one is the most obvious. How much does it cost to have your kid(s) on your workplace health plan? Does your employer offer Flexible Spending Accounts to help you pay for childcare with pre-tax dollars? Better yet, is there a subsidized childcare center on site? (They do exist.)

Sick leave. How much do you get? With young kids, you can scrape by on 10 or 12 days a year. Any less and you'll find yourself using vacation time to stay home and care for a small grumpy person with lice or pink eye. Not my idea of a vacation. And are you even allowed to use sick leave to care for a sick child, or must you be sick yourself in order to use it?

Travel. In many jobs, you have to travel to get ahead, or even just to do your job reasonably well. But how much is too much? I'd think twice about a job that took me away overnight more than 2 or 3 times a year, unless i could find a way to bring my family with me.

Hours. Is it a 40 hour work week? Or are you expected to work 50, 60, 70 hours a week? How often will special projects keep you from being able to put your kid to bed? Even the question of whether you have to take a lunch break off the clock can be important. A 9-5 work day gives you time for daycare dropoff and pickup. 8-5 just means the whole household has to get up earlier.

Flexibility. Must you work 9-5, M-F, or can you work a swing shift to accomodate your spouse's schedule? Can you work your 40 hour week in four 10-hour days, to give you one day at home with your child or one day to get errands done during the week? Is there a history of employees dropping down to part time? (And are the benefits pro-rated for part timers or simply gone if you don't work full time?) Does anyone telecommute? And if there are part timers and telecommuters, are they able to advance in their careers? These options will make a huge difference as you try to juggle work and childcare and school schedules.

Family medical leave. Companies with more than 50 employees are required to give workers up to 3 months off to care for a sick family member or to welcome a new member of the family (a birth or adoption counts for both parents). FMLA leave is generally unpaid, but your health insurance continues during your absence from work and your job must be held for you. If you can't get FMLA leave at a minimum, how will you take maternity or paternity leave? Can you use banked sick and vacation time so that some of your leave is paid? Better yet, a very few companies offer paid maternity leave. Yes, it's true. I worked for one (but alas, didn't qualify for paid maternity leave since I was a contract worker). So ask your employer if they offer it. They'll probably look incredulous, but they should know that some companies out there actually do this.

Commute. It's not the company's fault if you live far away. But it's something you absolutely must consider when you take a job, especially if you have kids. If you get off of work at 5, and live 45 minutes away from work, what time can you realistically have dinner on the table? And if you have to take public transportation, how reliable is it? What's the penalty if you're late to pick up your kids from daycare or from aftercare? Calculate what a typical morning and evening will look like before you take the job. If you'll have to get your kids up at 4:30 in order to get to work on time, maybe you need to look for something else.

Kid-friendly culture. Are there pictures and fingerpaintings up in people's cubicles? Does anyone ever bring their kids to the office? Warning bells would go off if I learned that children weren't allowed in the office under any circumstances. I'm not talking about having your 3 year old with you 40 hours a week. But I think it's healthy for kids to visit their parents' offices once in a while. If you have to keep your work life and your personal life completely separate, chances are you're going to have to make tough choices about your priorities more often than you'd like.

Community building. Are there annual workplace gatherings that bring workers and their families together? A company that throws holiday parties or summer picnics without inviting workers' families would have less appeal for me than a company that was willing to spring for enough eggnog for my spouse and my child each December.

How many people have kids? Does your boss have kids? If her kids are grown, does she seem to remember what it was like? If she doesn't have kids, does she seem sympathetic? Plenty of people who don't have children are great allies for parents. You just have to learn how to suss them out. You will be much happier working for someone who understands that it's simply unavoidable when you have to miss work because of a snow day, or leave in the middle of a meeting because you've gotten an urgent call from the school nurse.

General stress and enjoyment levels. Do you like your work? When you think about it during the weekend, does it make your stomach tie up in knots? A happy parent means a happier child. If your work is draining you emotionally or physically, you're not going to be able to summon much enthusiasm to help your 4th grader make a diorama of the pleistocene age on Monday night after dinner. This is one of the big shockers of parenthood--it's not just about you any more. If you're miserable, it's going to take a miracle to keep your kids from feeling the brunt of it.

The financial responsibility of being a parent means you can't always choose to leave a bad work situation. But if you can learn to spot family-friendly workplaces you might just find yourself a really great situation. And as you climb the ladder, have pity on your underlings who are where you were not too long ago.

And to all the heads of HR out there:
Being perceived as family-friendly by your employees is a great retention strategy. Give a parent a good, part-time, flexible job with pro-rated benefits, and they won't leave no matter what you do to them.

Related posts:
The biggest gift I can give my son
Contemplating a job change